The Day After : A Day To Box?

Hello World!

My apologies for not writing yesterday but I'm sure you understand why.
I hope you all had yourselves lovely Christmases? :)

26th of December : I'm sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooo bored =/ I've lost count of how many times I slept, woke up and slept again.. Gosh..
In an attempt to cure my boredom, I logged on facebook, only to find that none of the people I regularly talk to, are online. All, well most of them, are with their families. And me? Well, I'm with my family but in a different type of way.

This then brings about todays topic of thought, FAMILY.

What does it mean to you?

To me, it's those group of people that will and have always been there..through it all. For me, that family, over and above my biological one, is my friends. My friends, in an unexplainable way, have sort of intergrated themselves into my life. They're all embedded..deep inside my heart.

Of course, maintaining such friendships is not easy..at all. For many, handling group dynamics is a difficult task that may result in a friendship not being a genuine one. I've seen lots of those.
There's always the one girl, who the clan worships. Then there's her side-kick (the "best friend"), then the rest of the clan are like subsidiaries. Secrectly, all of the "juniors" want nothing more but to become the leader or at least, the best friend.
One other characteristic of such friendships, is that the leader ALWAYS makes the other girls feel inferior. She's like the Hitler of Germany..dictating who should say what..who should wear..who should date who..
WHY? I've never understood, why people can allow themselves, to be belittled by someone. Is it a question on wanting to fit in? Wanting to be accepted? What is it?

The friendship I have with my friends, is the ultimate answer. I'm not saying we're perfect..no..but we make it work. I think the difference with us is, we're all, to a greater extent, comfortable in our skin (height, complexion, weight), so we see no need in trying to impress anyone but ourselves. This, of course, in a typical high-school environment, has resulted in us being the "out-kasts" ? Yeah, I think that's the term. But I'm not embarrased to be labelled this because in my head, the word "out-kast" simply translates to "UNIQUE".
We don't try to become people we're not. We don't hang around certain people in order to increase our social standing. No.
This, is not to say that we don't argue like they typical friends do..we do..all the time and that's what makes us so close. I think what also helps is the fact that there's a perfect balance of personalities. There's the out-spoken character (can you guess who that is..?), the introvert, the geek, the girl with the perfect body, the shy girl, the "mute' girl, the adviser and the critique. The list goes on and on but my point is to prove how dynamique we are in contrast to the "popular girls". And maybe I'm being judgemental because I've never actually sat down with any of them because I just didn't see the point, but that's how I feel.

That's what has always amused me about high-school. It almost defines who you become simply because of what you say in class, who you hang with and what you do on the weekends. With reference to me, the answer would be : what I think is correct, the "outcasts" and whatever I feel like, respectively. If a popular girl was asked, the answers would probably be "usually the answer that makes people laugh (in an attempt to be liked), the other "populars" and do whatever is "cool".

But hey, maybe I'm being judgemental. But bear in mind, that I'm not saying we're perfect. =)

** I wonder if anyone actually reads this**
If you do, Thank You =)

That's me,
Nozie :)

Christmas : A Time To Be Merry?

Hello World!

Christmas.. :)
As a kid, the 25th of December was a day I awaited with baited breath.. My mum and I would decorate the Christmas tree and sing along to merry songs. When the day finally ariived, I'd be the first to wake up. I'd run around the whole house..literally waking the neighbours up as well. Then we'd open presents and just be a happy family. My young christmases were always a day to eat a real feast..the works.. My mom would truly out do herself with the food.. yumm :)

But a lot has changed since then..well since 2008, to be specific.
That day, 25th of December 2010 goes down as possible on of the most tragic days of all my years.

It was a normal day. Well, a normal Christmas, except we were at my Gran's house.
My mom, her mom and me, were all lazing about the house..chatting about something I've forgotten. What ever it was, it was funny. I remember because I couldn't stop laughing but the laugh was like one I'd never had before.
For starters, my tummy hurt but not from laughing too hard. Usually my hurt from three things ; laughing a lot,  being in trouble or something being EXTREMELY WRONG. Of course, I thought, it's Christmas..what could possibly be wrong?

The answer to my question awaited me the following day while I was watching a movie at home.

The landline rang. I answered. The person on the other end was a classmate of mine. She sounded frustrated and very sad. The first thing she said was "Have you heard the news?", to which I said "Well Merry Christmas to you too..what news?". Silence. "Hello?", I said.
What I heard next, was a sentence that haunts me to this very day.

My friend, one of my closest, had tragically passed away in a car accident the day before - Christmas.

She was gone. Dead. Never to be seen or heard from ever again.

Fast forward to today : 24th of December 2010.
I sit here, thinking about my friend. Her warm smile. Her gentle hugs. Her irritating sneeze. Her infectious laughter and smile. I think about her..

To say I miss her would be an insult to my actual emotion.

But anyway, as much as she loved attention, I know she wouldn't want me to be getting teary-eyed over her. So I won't. And neither should you..over any one you have lost.

There's no shame in dying.

Over the past 2 years without my friend, I've learnt to embrace life.
To cherish those around you..
It's never too late to say that "I love you", that "I'm sorry", that "I forgive you".
Make sure the ones you love know how you feel. You may never get a chance to let them know.

So to my dear friend, up there in Heaven, right next to God, I miss you.
It's hard without you but I know you're right here..with me in spirit.
I Love You.
x

Merry Christmas, World!

Step One : Making A Change.

Hello World!

I remember in Form 2, I was sitting in Guidance & Counselling class..not really paying attention. For some reason, I only broke out of my day-dream when I heard the teacher say the word CHANGE.
The word gripped me in a way I can't explain.. Noticing that she'd caught my attention, she asked, "Nozie, what is change to you?" to which I said "I think it means doing things differently". She smiled and simply disregarded my answer. As if to correct me, she said "Change is difficult. And it can truly happen if you're uncomfortable. You must leave your zone of comfort and enter a new territory. Only then, can real change happen."

For a while, I sat there..taking in what she had said.

Surprisingly, her words stuck with at times when change was crucial for me.. I needed to start studying..and to do that, I had to watch less t.v, facebook less, generally cut off on things that somewhat defined me. And so I did it. Trust me, it was difficult..so many times I wanted to switch on the telly, to logg on..to go back to the "me" I was before. Eventually, I became accustomed to new me..and it paid off.

The reason I brought this up is because I've had a lot of time to myself lately.. During this time, I've thought about everything and one of the most dominent thoughts, is making a change. Changing the way I live, the way I eat as well as the world around me. I believe Ghandi once said "be the change you want to see in the world"..

So let's take a look at my world..
my peripheral world is plagued with diseases and lots of atrocities.
I can't change the world. But I can try..
which brings me to my latest adventure..to make a change..

That's me
Nozie :)

Hello World!

So I have no idea how this works.
I'm just simply seeing where this takes me..
Seeing as this is my first blog, I probably should introduce myself, right?

Well, the name is Nozie. I shall not mention my surname just yet.
I'm 16. Just finished high school although there is one crucial year left.
Thereafter, I hope to go to a good university, get a degree and work.

But I don't want to stop there. I want to take over the world and become a brand. I want people to know my name..from the streets in Soweto, to the cafeteria's in New York to the prisons in Berlin. I also want to change the world..make it a better place. When I die, I should have created a good life for myself..

So yeah..that's me..
Nozie..:)